Oh IDK.....

 Is it just me, or is it normal to want to just shave your entire head of hair and start from scratch?  The only reason I have not shaved my head alone in my house, like a sad sad loser, is because my oldest son just got engaged, and the rumor is that he will be getting married to his gorgeous fiancé in February 2026.  I cannot be bald for that I guess.  I want to look like a normal, non-crazy human for their photos.

Menopause has just caused me to have some strange texture, and strange feelings about said texture.  I literally cannot stand how my hair looks right now.  Not only is the texture off, but it is thinning and not just all over, but literally at the crown.  Anyway, the point is I feel very unattractive at the moment and it probably has zero to do with my stupid hair but all to do with the hormones being all nutso!

HELP!

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18 Days

I have been sober for 18 days.  It's not a very long time, but it's over two weeks.  To me, it's the longest time I have stopped drinking consecutively.  It is an accomplishment, and I am proud of myself.  I live among people who do not understand my struggle, and they want to minimize it or enhance it, but I am well aware of what it truly is, and I am working on that.

Today, I came out to my siblings that I am 18 days sober.  My sister, who is an alcoholic, said "good job" in one sentence and then said "why?" in another.  I said Well because I don't want to be an alcoholic, and she said, "Yeah, but why.....jk".  It really put me instantly in a bad mood.  Why do people have to defend why they decided not to drink anymore?  If I were a crack addict, would they say the same thing?  "Why are you giving up crack?"

I would never say that to someone who is struggling, but maybe she doesn't know I am struggling because I do my drinking in private, and it never involves anyone else.  It's not dramatic, and I don't cause issues or problems for anyone when I am drinking.

I don't get into fights with people.  I don't piss myself and get lost and have to have my parents come get me.  I don't run off to a bar, drunk, and back into my child's car while other family members are trying to prevent me from leaving.

It is disheartening to know that your family cannot support you.  Not in the way you need, so I guess I have to distance myself from them even further-which sucks because we are already pretty distant.

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New Clothes - 2025

 I have been in dire need of some new tops since I retired.  I came across a shop I used to buy a few things from every once in a while recently called Chic Soul!  They did not disappoint.  Their items are a little pricey but so cute right?  Because my order was more than $30 I got a free black pullover (not pictured) and because my order was over $100 I also got free shipping.

If you want to get a few things, here is the link:  www.chicsoul.com 

A few weeks ago, I ordered some tops from Torrid that should be in today, here they are (so cute)

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It's Been A While

 It's been a while since I published a blog post.  I don't really have any excuses to share with you about why.  I can say we have been busy, but we are all busy.  No one really reads my blog anyway, so there is also that.  I used to do this for my mental health, because saying what I want on Facebook, X, or Instagram just seems weird, and opens me up for criticism and judgment.  Not that I care really, but I also want to be just like everyone else and just be able to be myself, but it seems I live in a world (or family) where I am the last person who is able to just be themselves without people taking it personally. I am the only one that has to be perfect.  Which I am not.  And I am the only one that gets punished for not being perfect.  It's a weird dynamic, but it often keeps me quite, at home, alone.

Anyway, I am trying to get back on my health journey and get my weight back under control.  2020-2021 was a very hard year, and our family suffered through a lot.  We are slowly coming back to our normal way of thinking and operating.  We have had a few really hard years with hurricanes damaging our home (3 in fact).  So there has been that on top of everything else.

I am not complaining.  I love my life, even when it is difficult.  I love the people God placed in them.  With that being said, I am going to try to blog more!  Share some of my favorite days, recipes, and homeschool challenges as well as homeschool wins.

xoxo, Lela
p.s. enjoy this portrait of Miss O :) 

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Goodbye Dear Friend

Have you ever been ghosted?  Have you ever been ghosted by your best friend?  That is what happened to me, twice.  And I want to preface that I hold no ill will towards my dear friend.  I am only writing this for my own peace of mind, and to openly say goodbye!

I have been friends with a sweet lady for going on 32 years.  We have been through a lot together, marriages, divorces, loosing loved ones and the trials and tribulations any other female in America could have.  Her second marriage, moved her across the country from Florida to Washington state.  Her mom and brother live here in Florida, so she did travel to visit & so we'd see each other while she was in town, but I guess our friendship started to dwindle over those long years apart.

I tried to reach out as much as I could, and sometimes was left on read-which is fine, I get it, we are all busy!  When she first moved, she was still raising her girls & me, still raising my kids.  But a couple of years ago she just disappeared off social media, wouldn't answer my texts or answer my calls.  I tried for several months, maybe once a month for over a year but heard nothing from her.  Since her youngest daughter was still active on social media, I knew she was still on this earth with us-so I tried not to worry.

In 2023, she finally reached out-and I was so excited, she was planning on coming to Florida and we were planning on meeting up.  But she disappeared again, and I hold no hope that we will see each other again at this point, and I am truly heart broken by that.  But I have to move on, get over myself-my pride and say goodbye to my dear sweet friend.  I'll remember you and always think fondly of you.  You are a lovely person, and I miss and love you very much!

xoxo, Lela

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1st Week of Homeschooling Update

 When I decided to homeschool for the year 2023-2024 I also decided I wouldn't post so much about it on social media (Instagram/Facebook.TikTok) really giving me and my daughter a chance to find our groove before we started sharing our journey with the world.  Also, I have not totally decided if I am going to share any of our experiences on those platforms.  Not for any particular reason, but I do find when I focus on trying to create that type of content I am not focused on what is the most important & which is learning with her.

Anyway, having said that I did want to come and update my family journal/blog as a record of our homeschooling experience, for us & what little family follows my blog.

Now let's get into our first week.

We started our first week of school on August 1, 2023, which happened to be a Tuesday.  Monday I used to prep for our first week.  Which didn't really prepare me at all.  Tuesday was great, we stuck to one hour for each course that we were doing (Math, Language Arts, History, PE) and we were done with school rather quickly, but then on Wednesday I felt like we had to catch up and do all the work that didn't get done the day before since we stayed on a strict one hour schedule so then we did school until about 3 or 4 which may be typical.  I don't know, this is my first time.  So then on Thursday, we did computer game math and other subjects to give her a break from all the hard work she did the day before.

Friday was going to be a day off for us, but we did science - which was a lot of fun.  We did two experiments.  One was on the currents of the oceans and one was on the buoyancy of the water.  She enjoyed them both.

I took most of the morning before we started science to work out a better schedule that I thought was more realistic, knowing a little more about how a day should or could look for us.  Our new schedule looks like this:

Math
Language Arts
Science/History (2x)
Creative Writing/Cursive Writing (2x)
Art, PE, Computers, Music (1x)

We will give that schedule a shot for a few weeks and see how we do.  So far we love it, even though we struggled to find what works for us that first week.  I mean, I am sure people who have been homeschooling for years are still fine-tuning their schedule (right)?  I hope so.  Anyway, we love y'all, and thank you for all your support.

xoxo, Lela & Olivia

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Home School Freebie - #1

Interested in some free learning materials for your little one?  This material is a free coloring and activity book called "Get Excited About the Brain"!  We already received our copy, and Olivia is excited to learn more about the brain and mental health!

You can get yours here:  https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/get-excited-about-the-brain.  You can download a PDF version or a physical copy.

Happy Homeschooling!
xoxo, Lela & Olivia

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